Bullying exists today just as it has for generations. The difference now is that bullies have extended their reach beyond playgrounds and school hallways. They have – believe it or not, Parents – been invited right into your home.

The computers and hand-held digital devices that have improved access to information and the ability to stay connected have also become the new “playground” for bullies. Cyberbullying might seem like something that only happens in tragic news reports in places far from Wayland, but the reality, according to Wayland Police Chief Robert Irving, is that Wayland isn’t immune.

"This is a whole new area of involvement for the police because crimes that happen over the computer can hurt children," Irving said. "Our only defense is to make sure people understand this is out there."

The Wayland Middle School PTO invited Irving and Officer Mark Wilkins to present a program about cyberbullying and Internet safety during its Thursday night meeting in the WMS library.

Wilkins, Wayland’s community services officer and computer crimes investigator, is certified through the Massachusetts Aggression Reduction Center (MARC) to educate members of the community about Internet safety and cyberbullying.

Cyberbullying, according to Mass.gov, is “bullying, through the use of technology or electronic devices such as cell phones, computers, video gaming systems and the Internet.” It includes “sending hurtful, hateful, derogatory, harassing or threatening messages to others; spreading rumors; and/or sending personal or embarrassing information about or pictures of others – all with the intention of intimidating, frightening, ridiculing or harming someone else.”

According to a 2008-09 report titled “Snapshot: Massachusetts Statistics on Frequency of Bullying and Cyberbullying,” 60 percent of college students report being bullied through some online or electronic means during high school. That report also reveals that 90 percent of respondents never reported cyberbullying to anyone.

“I would imagine, just like with regular bullying, kids are embarrassed and they don’t report [cyberbullying],” Irving said.

With the recent tragic cases of bullying that Massachusetts and other states around the nation have seen, legislature is now taking steps to derail cyberbullying and bullying in general and to institute specific programs for coping with it.

A 2010 Massachusetts law forbids bullying and retaliation in schools and requires schools and school districts to create action plans for preventing and addressing incidents of bullying (this includes cyberbullying). Wayland submitted its plan before the end-of-December deadline.

Cyberbullying, Wilkins told parents at the meeting, is a multi-layered event in which the person being bullied many times becomes the bully through retaliatory action.

“It’s amazing how the kids turn on each other,” Wilkins said, adding that research shows girls are more at risk than boys of both being bullied and doing the bullying.

He said one thing parents can do to ensure their child doesn’t become a cyberbully is monitoring their child’s emotional state before allowing the child online.

“If your child is angry, don’t let them near any electronics,” Wilkins said. “Once you write it, and once it’s out there, it’s not coming back.”

Under the new anti-bullying legislation schools are required to document cases of bullying and then report the case to local police. Wilkins said local police are then required to take steps, which could include confiscating all digital devices in the household to investigate the bullying report.

Wilkins cautioned parents against believing this doesn’t happen in Wayland. In fact, computers have been confiscated in Wayland and bullying has been addressed by law enforcement.

The presentation was as much about protecting children from bullying as it was about ensuring children don’t become bullies themselves. Wilkins admitted it is a fine line between teasing among friends and what the courts can recognize as bullying. Civil restraining orders, originally developed to address disputes between neighbors, have been extended to apply to cyberbullies.

“It’s a difficult thing to tell parents,” Wilkins said. “… that as sweet as their kid seems … they can be awful online when it’s anonymous. You need to take charge of the kids, understand what they’re doing, understand that cyberbullying goes both ways.”

If a parent suspects their child is being bullied, Wilkins said the first thing to do is save the evidence. Use a camera to photograph the computer screen or save on the computer any page that can be saved. “Get as much info as you can,” he said.

Wilkins said there are steps parents can take to limit cyberbullying while helping ensure general Internet safety for their children. Most importantly, he said, parents need to closely, daily even, monitor their child’s online activity.

“Know what your children are doing,” said Wilkins, who added that his children know that he and his wife have their Internet passwords and monitor their online activity daily. “If you’re children have accounts [for Facebook or any other online activity], know their account information. Until they’re 18, they are your responsibility.”

Even if children are not participating in cyberbullying, they could be posting information or images online that are inappropriate and could have negative repercussions down the road.

“Colleges and jobs will check,” Wilkins said, adding that employers now frequently conduct Internet searches on job applicants. “Communication is key.”

The digital world fools kids into believing that what they do there is temporary and completely anonymous, Wilkins said. He encouraged parents to make sure their children understand that the items and information they post on the Internet today could be used against them tomorrow.

“Our PTO meetings have been building toward this [presentation],” said PTO President Tracy Davlin. She said the PTO had taken part in various educational programs and discussions motivated by Massachusetts’ anti-bullying legislation. “This is just a good thing to have parents know and understand.”

WMS Principal Betsy Gavron acknowledged the complexity of dealing with cyberbullying and Internet safety, but asked parents not to feel completely overwhelmed.

“I don’t want you to leave here feeling discouraged,” Gavron said. “You still are just a huge, huge influence your child’s life.”

WMS has scheduled bullying education presentations with each of the grade levels in February.