Community Corner
Warning Signs of Teen Dating Violence
Sure you worry about your teens getting home on time and driving safely, but violence? On a date? Think again.
Many in our communities were shocked and saddened by the suspected . When most people think of domestic violence we typically envision adults, not young people, but there is growing concern among our teens regarding this issue.
When I was in labor, a nurse took me aside and asked me if I was afraid at home. She explained it was standard procedure to ask moms this question when admitted to the maternity floor. Thankfully, I was not afraid … but many women are.
I continue to see an effort to reach out to those who live with violence every day through tear sheets at my doctor’s office, on the back of bathroom stall doors, at my church, all hoping that women will seek the help they need by making contacts readily available.
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But what about teens? It’s hard enough for a grown woman to seek help when in an abusive relationship so how much harder must it be for young people who are little more than kids?
According to the U.S. Department of Justice, Bureau of Justice Statistics young women from the ages of 16-24 are more vulnerable to intimate partner violence than any other age group, a rate almost triple the national average.
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Other statistics show that many parents don’t often think of dating violence as an issue and many have not even discussed it with their kids.
Many parents think more about curfews, driving safety and admonishing kids about alcohol and tobacco use than violence in a dating relationship.
According to the “Teen Victim Project,” National Center for Victims of Crime, dating violence is different for boys and girls in the following ways:
- Girls are more likely to yell, threaten to hurt themselves, pinch, slap, scratch, or kick
- Boys injure girls more severely and frequently
- Some teen victims experience violence occasionally
- Others are abused more often…sometimes daily
The website BreakTheCycle.org states that dating violence can be physical, emotional or sexual. Their top 10 warning signs of abuse are:
- Checking your cell phone or email without permission
- Constant put-downs
- Extreme jealousy or insecurity
- Explosive temper
- Financial control
- Isolating you from family or friends
- Mood swings
- Physically hurting you in any way
- Possessiveness
- Telling you what to do
It’s important to remember that teens are inexperienced in relationships and don’t have the maturity or life experience to recognize what’s happening. Peer pressure is at play, too.
In my 20s, I was dating a man who seemed perfect until he pushed me one afternoon. At first I thought he was joking around, but he wasn’t. He exhibited other “off” behaviors so the relationship ended immediately, but many girls put up with that and worse so please educate yourselves and your kids. Their lives could depend on it.
Resources for teens and parents:
Safelink (24-hour Massachusetts Domestic Violence Hotline): 887-785-2020
National Teen Dating Abuse Helpline: 1-866-331-9474
