Family, Friends Reflect on Washek's Life of Contentment, Grace

Pam Washek first learned she had cancer in 2002. At the time, her oldest daughter was not yet a teenager and her two younger daughters had not yet cracked double digits.

Even so, "She never said, 'Why me. Poor me,'" her husband, Kevin, said. "She always said, 'Why God? Why do you want my attention?'"

Now, days after Washek lost her 10-year battle with synovial cell sarcoma, her husband can look back and say she got her answer.

"I think what she’s fostered out there in these communities is the answer," he said.

Kevin Washek is referring to the thousands of people who have been assisted through Neighbor Brigade, an organization Pam Washek co-founded in 2003 after her own neighbors came together to lend a hand following her cancer diagnosis. Pam Washek and fellow Wayland resident Jean Seidon organized the Wayland Angels, a group that provided food, ran errands and otherwise helped their neighbors in times of illness or crisis. When Seidon lost her own battle with cancer in 2006, Pam Washek kept the organization moving, renaming it Neighbor Brigade and helping its spread throughout Massachusetts.

"Every neighborhood across the country," said Washek's 20-year-old daughter, Kathryn, smiling as she recited a mantra she seemed to have heard many times before.

Even with such ambitious goals and her ongoing health concerns, Washek's family members said she managed it all with energy and grace.

"She balanced every realm of her life," her daughter Ainsley, 22, said. "The way she held it all together. She always just had time for everyone and everything.  It helps to know that her legacy and her reasons for living are still going on around us."

Pam Washek's father, Nicholas Manikis, said his daughter's commitment to the people in her life paled only in comparison to her commitment to her faith. Manikis said he saw his daughter's illness strengthen her spiritual life.

"She’s my little hero," Manikis said. "The cancer that she had probably was one of the worst that anyone could have had. She took it in stride. In all the years that she fought this battle, I can’t remember once that she complained. I’m sure she had her weak moments -- she’s only human. I saw her growing stronger in every possible way. Most of all, I saw her growing spiritually. She always believed in God and was a beautiful Christian girl. Even in this illness, she blossomed in her faith."

Manikis said that he and his daughter shared a nightly meditation time -- no matter how far apart they were geographically, they both prayed at 10 p.m. Manikis said that time will continue to be the time that he feels closest to his youngest daughter, even in her death.

"She was amazing -- even more amazing we’re finding out after the fact," said Euphoria Manikis, Pam Washek's mother. "We used to think she’s helped hundreds of people, and we’re finding out it was thousands."

Kevin Washek said people have gone out of their way to track him down and offer their condolences and stories of how his wife touched their lives.

"The void that’s missing from her loss, it’s going to be filled," he said. "It’s been pretty amazing these past couple of days. The people, the outpouring. The trouble, the work they went through to do it."

The Washeks were high school sweethearts who went on to enjoy 24 years of marriage.

"We really were married before the ceremony, when we were teenagers. I just knew," Kevin said of his wife. "There was no better feeling than hearing her car pull in the driveway. She had an elegance, a contentment. It drew you in.

"She really is Christ-centered; she did everything to glorify him," he continued. "But when she was in a room that was less receptive and more secular, she was OK with it. The contentment that she knew in life, was really what she wanted everyone to know."

Kevin Washek said the family and friends are thankful to have had the chance to talk with their wife, mother, daughter, friend before she died. According to her husband, Pam Washek was undergoing treatment right up until the day before Thanksgiving, with plans to continue treatment the Tuesday after the holiday weekend. But over the holiday weekend, Pam Washek confessed to her husband that she was tired.

"She said Sunday morning, 'I just can’t do it,'" Kevin Washek remembered. "At that point, we did have the time to make sure that when we look back on our time with her, there are no regrets. She took the time to speak with [her daughters]. She continued to guide them. They cared for her, they nursed her."

Each of her daughters remembers their mother as a role model who offered support and love throughout their lives.

“She showed us the ideal way we can live our life,” said 14-year-old Jessica.

Calling hours for Pam Washek were held Thursday at St. Demetrios Church in Weston. Funeral services will take place today, Dec. 7, at 10 a.m. at the same location. In lieu of flowers, her family is requesting that memorial gifts in her memory be sent to the Neighbor Brigade, 18 Willard St, Wayland, MA 01778 or the St. Demetrios Church Building Fund.